This is a hard question. Melinda wants all kinds of things, and she wants them at different times for different reasons. At times, Melinda wants to be left completely alone. It's why she hides in the janitor's closet so much. She's afraid of certain people in the school, and she doesn't enjoy being treated like a pariah. Being able to completely withdraw is tempting for her.
Probably more than anything, though, Melinda wants to be able to talk about what happened to her at the party. She wants to tell people about why she called the police. She wants to tell people the truth about Andy. Melinda can't, though. She is too scared and ashamed of being raped. She doesn't know how to tell people, and a major part of the novel is about Melinda growing emotionally and psychologically strong enough to speak out.
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